Requirement of this Conversation on wonderful parenting
There are many people I have met in my life as a peak performance coach. Many of them have their established organizations, some run institutions and then there are a lot of IPS officers whom I have delivered my session to.
In everyone there is one common problem that I have noticed if they are parents and their whole problem is their children, perhaps that’s what they feel.
For some their son does not show interest in studies, in another incident there is this factor of misusing the name and financial independence provided by their parents and of course its almost a known reality to many as how many rich kids are getting addictive to smoking drinking and its such an unfortunate reality that some are also getting used to drugs.
There were many requests from a lot of affluent parents asking me to design a course so that they can handle their children effectively.
I know a businessman who has more than 1500 employees and is doing tremendously well but when it comes to managing his children he is a thorough embarrassment.
Requests kept pouring from all quarters of parenthood that they wanted to mange their children effectively. Some have read a whole range of books on parenting yet could not implement them. The problems remained and being in field of coaching I realized that this is not something to be handled objectively. It has to be handled subjective manner.
Just imagine this, as parents if you are feeling the heat of not being in a position to channel the energies of your children in the right direction how disastrous the whole journey can become.
This conversation is a requirement for all those parents who are not able to manage their children effectively.
How this conversation happened.
This conversation has essentially happened from an intention to keep it absolutely relevant and up to the point without beating around the bush. And for this I needed to converse with some parent who has a wonderful relation with their children. There was also a criteria that I had to converse with a parent who also is also in an authoritative position and managing a huge job responsibility as most of my clients are from affluent families and I needed to have a common thread here to align and integrate solutions in a desirable manner that lasts in an effective way all through.
Of the many sessions I do there is one session that I often do once in every month with school and engineering students and that’s called UNLEASH THE TRUE POTENTAIL OF A STUDENT. While I was in the process of hosting it, a gentlemen who participates in organizing sessions for me introduced me to a thorough gentlemen and a later did I realize that he was an encyclopedia of wellbeing by himself in a huge manner. He is one of those core reasons as to why this eBook stands as an offering. Many may already know him but for those who don’t know this presence let me take the honor of introducing him. He is a power store within, his eyes have a radiant effect and more so importantly he is a super cop and he is non other than the one and only Inspector General of Police Mr. Harish Kumar Gupta. Our first meeting was initially about the enrollment of his daughters into the session called UNLEASH THE TRUE POTENTAIL OF A STUDENT.
I usually ask some core questions to their parents before taking children in for this session and I followed the same protocol with Harish ji as well. But to my utter surprise the answers that I received from him truly inspired me to have a conversation with him on parenting, as the first reply he gave for my question was simply a non-happening reality in many affluent homes.
I asked him how many times does he see a situation where his daughters and closing their doors while in the house. He just looked at me a gave a wonderful smile as if it was not at all concern for him as there is no system of privacy at his house and his daughters are free to speak to him or their mother what ever they want. He said that he has from the very beginning created a system where the very need for his children to seek privacy does not occur.
I immediately understood that he was the parent I was looking for to have a conversation and sought his time. We fixed a convenient timeframe mutually and their came a whole arrange of topics, which have a great depth and solution, ingrained in it if every parent follows them.
Conversation number one – Opening the channels of communication at home.
Of the various conversations on wonderful parenting that I had with Harish ji, this will be the first I am sharing with you all. I will be sharing more insights in the days ahead.
I met Harish ji in the noon and began the conversation. Happy noon sir, how are you? I am gr8 karthik, its good to see you. It’s a through pleasure to see you Harish sir.
Karthik, I have gone through your website mindpowerreality.com and am very impressed with the volume of work you have done. I am happy to see that you have been successful in implementing your sessions in the premium institutions across the country.
Thank you so much for your wonderful encouragement through these observations that you have made sir. I said with a smile that seemed absolutely driven by Harish ji’s powerful encouragement and observation. I now began the core purpose for which I was there. Just before the day we spoke Harish ji sent me a message in what’s-app about certain topics that need immediate attention. At the very outlook of the message I was able to sense the disaster that could come in the future if necessary steps are not taken in the right direction.
Sir, the very first topic you have sent me is about opening the channels of communication. I have seen many cases personally where parents are not able to convey what they want exactly to their children and this is leading to various unnecessary discussions and also situations. I use certain methodologies like dialogue exchange and role-plays to improve the communication between children and their parents. What has truly exited me n this conversation is the relationship that you hold with your children. I see the friendliness in approach and the non-mask communication happening.
Yes karthik, there is essentially no need to have any mask when there is clarity and no hidden agenda. Harish ji looked at me with a piercing smile that conveyed far deeper. Honesty surrounded the space where we were having the conversation and I was able to feel it. The feeling was amazing and that’s the reason I am mentioning it here. Moving a little forward he said, there are many parents who are not able to communicate what they want with their children and yes some of the methods that you mention might work but what’s more important is to open the channels of communication. This can only happen when the parents operate with clarity. Today in most of the upper middle class families and affluent high class families you might have seen that the mother is in one room, the father is in another room and the child is in another room and the biggest tragedy is some times or many at times all the rooms are closed.
Yes, that’s quite true I exclaimed within myself.
When you close the doors and you do your own activity there will be a great disconnect in the communication and when the communication gets effected it will turn out to be a great burden for the family. As parents one must always express their love and not through the weight of money and bribe the child for doing what he or she is supposed to do. Today there is a great mask in every action that most of the parents are doing. I am able to see the expectation levels are also going drastically up and this in turn is also effecting the communication with the home. Once the child comes back from school, the parents must enquire how was the day. This is something that I do. I always tell me children to feel free about what they want to convey with me. I will be a guide to them rather than an instructor. This gives them the freedom to communicate with me freely and there is a lot of scope for resistant free communication.
I looked at Harish ji and told him, that’s so wonderful of you, I have always know that resistant free communication is an essential factor for developing trust and trust certainly plays a phenomenal role in establishing the environment where the communication channels arte opened up naturally.
I completely agree with you karthik and this is what I have been living.
I looked at Harish ji leaned a little forward and said, I have always known that growth never happens in isolation and its time that people at home open the channels of communication and live a life of clarity. So my take on this is, essentially some of the ways to attain the phenomenal possibility of opening the channels of communication will be:
1: Having an open door possibility rather than closed door suppression.
2: Having dialogue with clarity
3: Developing trust with their children so that they can speak their problems with them
4: Interacting with love
5: Spending quality time with their children